Has anyone noticed more and more single dads with full custody of even tiny children? To see this is encouraging, though I am sorry to see so many broken homes. As a daycare owner, I have had the opportunity of late to work with several of these dads and, having spent several years as a single mom, I have been both compassionate and amused.
One of my daycare parents was a man who had first endured a divorce where his ex-wife had the full custody of their two daughters. He had little compassion for the load she was carrying and was resentful of the support payments he was making. He married again a much younger woman who, through unfortunate circumstances, left him with full custody of two small children, one of which was less than a year old.
The first thing he noticed was how expensive it is to come up with a safe reliable daycare in order to work without worrying all day. He then saw first hand the clothing and medical expenses and realized that he used to complain that women just liked to spend money. Soon, he realized that after working all day, it left very little social time, and to do anything, it involved even more childcare which also meant even less time for the children who needed so much attention already, having been away from him all week.
I think one thing that was cute yet sad was when he came in to ask advice because his children were starting to call him Mommy. How many of us who have been single parent women have lived this in reverse! My response was, “You are Mommy, and Daddy, one day your children, though confused right now,will realize that you loved them enough to take up both rolls rather than to pursue your own ambitions or conveniences, and they will be able to say thank you.” Should this man ever marry again, I can tell you that he will be a much better father and husband.
For all you single Dads out there facing this roll, stand strong, the sacrifice will be worth the effort. Even if your children go through a season of struggle, you will always know it is not because you left them, and when that season is over, you will have a relationship anchored in faithfulness and earned trust. I salute you !
Excellent article and food for thought. I always believe children are a gift from God and the way we as parents raise our children by supplying the best childcare,love,spirtual education and personal items, we are building a healthy tomorrow for them. Children deserve to be loved.
I have 4 kids, 2 with an ex who lives with her, and two with an ex who live with me.
I understand just what he’s going through. The thing is, that women tend to be very attracted to that. So I hardly doubt that he will have a hard time building a social life.
Nice blog.
-umesh
What a wonderful post. I really enjoyed reading it.
Good post. Being a stay at home dad has unique challenges as well, I think the trend is that dads are more actively involved in their children’s lives than ever before. It is a wonderful thing.
My husband is a SAHD, and, it’s weird, but he faces prejudice from moms, particularly the SAHMs. When he takes the kids to the park, the only women who speak to him are nannies. The moms regard him as a curiousity and somewhat with disdain.